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  • Friday, October 29, 2004

    Cheese

    I ordered a burger at McDonald's yesterday.
    It said that cheese was an extra 30 cents.
    So naturally, I assumed that the burger didn't normally come with cheese.
    So when I got it back home - there was cheese.
    I hate cheese on anything but pizza.
    So why the Hell is there cheese on everything?
    At the gas station, all of the microwave hamburgers are cheeseburgers.
    Often, even when you order hamburgers, they'll give you cheeseburgers.
    What, does hamburger meat still give off milk, and somehow in the oven mold cultures grow at incredible speeds to turn it into cheese?
    Maybe it's some sort of federal regulation, designed to pander to farmers in Wisconsin?
    Perhaps there is some geat surplus store of the vile yellow substance and people are trying to get rid of it before it spoils (spoils again, that is).
    Maybe some international organization run by the illuminati is running the fast food and convenience store microwaveables industry (this would be the same one htat puts those insipid "behold the power of cheese" ads on TV).
    Perhaps they belong to some sort of rotted-milk product-worshipping cult? (Behold the power of... has that cultish ring to it).
    Well no more! Fellow misoturists unite to fight for our right to avoid this yellow plague!
    I demand my right not to have cheese on everything!!!!!!!!
    (P.S. Miso- = hate, turo = cheese)
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